Welcome to the Spunky Spirit Podcast. I'm your host, Psychic Medium, Cari Mugz. This is where we
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learn all things spirit, everything from spiritual gifts, awakenings, ghosts, aliens, and star seeds.
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Nothing is untouchable, but always fun and spunky. I am honored to be on this spiritual journey with
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you, so make sure you hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode. Hello and welcome to
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this week's episode of Spunky Spirit. I am your host, Psychic Medium, Carrie Mugs, and this week,
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we are going to talk about kind of that you don't have to always be nice to be spiritual. We kind
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of have this perception that we have to be all forgiving, all encompassing, all love and light,
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and honestly, sometimes when we do that, which is good, but it's like toxic positivity, and it's
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not something that you can do all the time. And when we can't do it all the time, we feel guilty.
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We feel like we don't measure up or we're not spiritual enough because we're taught that we
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have to be all loving and all, which turns us into a walking, people-pleasing, doormat, to be
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honest. And I have gone down that road for so long that it's so hard to get out of, but I want you
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to know that it's okay if you do. It's okay if you're not 100% all the time, uplifting, cheerful,
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forgiving, all that stuff, because honestly, we are here to have a spiritual experience, and we are
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here to experience all the things that we go through. And it doesn't mean we have to do it
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perfectly. In fact, sometimes when we, it can be known as spiritual bypassing, as when we are just,
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we dismiss people's feelings or we dismiss our feelings and say, oh, all is well, love and light,
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everything is beautiful, everything is fine. I've got to be, I got to rise above, I got a bigger,
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I got to be the bigger person, I got to take the right road, which is all can be true. But we've
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been taught and taught by social religions and social cultures that we always have to be nice,
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or we always have to be pleasant, or we always have to be no gossip, always forgiving, always loving,
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and if we, if we go to somebody, we're a bad person, or if we have feelings and we're mad,
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or we have anger, we're a bad person. And we, we, we kind of go, I think I kind of talked about
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this last week a little bit, actually, where we have this persona that if we can only be spiritual,
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if we're nice, and if we're not nice, then we can't be, we can't raise, have a higher frequency,
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or raise our frequency, because we're all supposed to be loving, light, and blah, blah, blah, and
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that's not true. You have to, we have to, as humans, experience this life, we have to experience all
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the good and the bad. And so a lot of people ask me when they ask me, what is shadow work? Your
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shadow work is when you can't be loving light. Your shadow is when you're not nice. Your shadow is
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when you don't like people. Your shadow is when you can't, when you let something go and bury it
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and don't deal with it and process it. So then you have to deal with it and process it later.
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You, I, it's just so hard because what you don't understand is the more that you people please,
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and the more that you want to, I mean, it's okay to be friendly, right? And it's okay to, to be nice,
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but to a point where you don't have to sacrifice yourself to do it, is, is the key. And we, and I
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don't know about you, but on my journey, I sacrificed my happiness a lot to be the good person. And
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nice doesn't always equiviate to good, right? So just be, we just have it in our head that to be a
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good person, we have to be nice. We have to be accommodating. We have to be of service. We have
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to do all these things, which can be true to some extent, but at some point, we've got to take care
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of ourselves. And when we're doing all of that, we bypass ourselves and we don't look at ourselves
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and we don't process what we're really feeling. Because we think, Oh, if I'm mad at her because
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she did this and it's really petty for me to be mad, then I'm a bad person. That's not what it means.
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It means you're feeling, you're having emotions and that's okay. And usually,
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when we have, sorry, my air conditioner just went on, it's like, I can hear it.
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I can hear it in the background. So it's so it's bugging me. Usually, when we,
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we think that when we are not nice or when we have these feelings, because culture has taught us
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that we have to be nice. We have to be the better person. We have to do all these things or we're
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not a good person. And or we have to go to church or we're not a good person. We have to meditate for
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hours a day or not a good person. We have to be nice to everybody. We have to,
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the regular rule of thumb really is to treat others like you would want to be treated.
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So if we can add no physical harm to other people, right? Like no physical harm. And the reason
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why I say no physical harm to other people is because sometimes your boundaries are going to
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hurt other people's feelings. So if I create a boundary that I do not let people in my,
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let's do a business boundary, right? And I do not let people, I get lots of people
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messaging me all the time, can I get in? I have an emergency. Can I get it early?
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And I don't really think that that's fair to the people who've been waiting, right? So,
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and I don't have a wait list because the wait list got too long. It got too, too hard to take care of.
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And I never really got cancellations. So it was just way too big of a headache. But I did it to
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please others. And in the way I was sacrificing myself because I was trying to accommodate
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other people so much that I was causing myself anxiety. And if I couldn't get them in or be
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the nice person, then I would seriously have guilt, racked guilt and feeling all this bad
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stuff because I'm not a good person because I didn't get them in when they needed to be.
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And all this time I was sacrificing myself. I was creating anxiety for me and I was creating
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stress for me that wasn't necessarily and all the time I thought, well, better me than them.
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Better me to have anxiety, better me to have this uncomfortable feeling than them.
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But then it got to the point where I got sick. I got physically sick. And so then I was like,
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okay, wait. And that's when I kind of realized that you take care of you first. You take care
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of you first. And if you have feelings of euphoria and love and uniteness, that is great because
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some days you're going to have those. And then there's going to be other days that you're going
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to be ticked and you're going to be pissed and someone's going to make you mad. And for women,
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it's all emotional too. Like at certain times of the month, right? So but then if you go through
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that point and you're like, okay, I'm so mad at this person, then you feel guilty afterwards for
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being so mad, right? So as long as you like process your feelings, now processing your feelings
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doesn't mean you call that person and scream at them and yell at them. If that's something you
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feel like you need to do, that's okay. But you know what? You're going to have to face the consequences
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later and you might lose that friend or that friend might tell somebody else, which is okay,
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because you really don't need to worry about what other people think. But at the end of the day,
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if you lose other friends because of it, that's on you. So you get to decide how you get to maneuver
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or process this stuff. But just because you make a mistake or just because you become a and I hate
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this word, but they call it a Karen because Karen's are like super over the top and mean and
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aggressive and but sometimes those Karen's are legitimate. They have legitimate reasons. Sometimes
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they do not. Sometimes they do not and they talk at a turn but you know what? All the time,
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they're processing their emotions. They're processing their emotions and we really don't
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understand what's going on in their mind at the time that they're losing it, right? We don't know
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if that morning they just lost their father. We don't know what happened to them. We don't
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know the circumstances. So we have to let it not get personal, but we also don't have to take it.
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If we get somebody who starts to be mean to us, we can walk away. We don't have to sit and film
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them. We don't have to try and make them like us. We don't have to try and make it better.
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It doesn't make us a better person if we do and it doesn't make us a better person to accommodate
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what makes us a better spiritual person is to acknowledge who we are, acknowledge those feelings
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that we have and be okay with it. Be okay that we do make mistakes. Be okay that we're not happy
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positivity all the time. Be okay that we're not people pleasers anymore. Be okay that you create
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boundaries. Be okay that you want to be authentically you and sometimes that means you don't want to go
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out with your friends and sometimes that means you don't want to have a big huge family get together
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and you don't want to go to it because sometimes you need to take care of yourself first and it
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all goes back to if you don't take care of yourself first how are you going to take care of those
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people and especially if you're a people pleaser. So I just want to remind you that I guess I don't
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want you to feel like you're a bad person just because you get mad at somebody and I don't want
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you to feel like you're a bad person because you have you you know like put somebody out of your
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life for a little bit even if it has to do either with them or with you and I want you to remember
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that you are it's okay to feel those things usually when you do not like somebody or you have bad
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feelings towards them usually they're right on unless you have like your intuition is to usually
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right on and it's your intuition that's protecting you from something they're going to create or do
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to you or or you just don't like to be around them and that is okay because a lot of times we're
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taught well we have to we have to deal with it and it works sometimes we do at our job sometimes
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we do have to just be like okay I got to make this work I got to figure it out and that's okay
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but I don't want you to feel like you're a bad person if you or you're not spiritual if you
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don't have love and light all the time for everybody because that's not how it works that's how
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we're taught it works and that's how we're taught we have to meditate we have to know the chakras
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we have to do all these things and in reality we just have to be ourselves and if part of that is
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acknowledging that we don't like some people and part of that is acknowledging that there are some
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things and I know a lot of Christian people and I I love Jesus I'm a good I I I love Jesus I
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Christian all the way but I also like other religions too I like there's but what I'm trying to say
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is if we now I forgot what it's going to try and say something about if we aren't always nice we're
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just taught that we always oh forgiveness I do have spirits come through and um they want to
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apologize to the person who is in front of me the sitter my my client and sometimes my sitter or
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my client isn't ready to accept their apology and the spirit totally understands the spirit is all
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the spirit gets it and the spirit says I'll try again another time I even tell people before we
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do the readings if somebody on the other side comes through and wants to apologize for something
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you're not ready to forgive please let me know and we'll move forward because it might not be time
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it might not be time for you to forgive yet so I know that we have this thing where we have to
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always forgive and we have to move on and forgive people for what they do and that is not always
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true so I don't want you to feel bad if you can't forgive somebody if you're having a hard time
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forgiving somebody because it just means that you haven't processed it all yet and when I talk about
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processing it or forgiving somebody it just means too that if you haven't forgiven them on earth
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it's something that you there's just some things that are so unforgivable on earth that some people
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have gone through that they can't they can't bring themselves to forgive and that's okay I don't want
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you to think less of yourself and that will be something that you will be able to do on the
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other side so anytime um you've had any kind of qualms or bickers or fights or anything like that
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you can process that stuff on the other side and you are a little bit harder on yourself
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because because you can see the higher picture not because you think you're a bad person or a bad
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spirit but you can see the bigger picture and you can see why people did the things they did
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and so you kind of like or like oh wow like and you when you are on the other side looking at your
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life preview you don't really judge yourself nobody else judges you you just kind of think oh wow this
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is how I handled it and then you could see the different ways and how how how you could have
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handled it differently but just because you want to not because you have to not because you're being
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taught a lesson or that you're passing a test it's just because you want to know you as a spirit
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want to know how you could have done that better because you're always we're always continuing
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to grow right even on the other side even when we go over to the higher the other frequency when we
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pass over or we transition so just because sometimes if you don't forgive somebody the the trick is
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is if you don't forgive somebody or you can't find it in your heart to forgive somebody right now
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and it's too much for you to have a process and feeling that's okay as long because when you forgive
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somebody you don't have to be their best friend anymore you don't have to invite them over for
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dinner you don't have to do all the things that you used to you don't even have to be friends with
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them you can just forgive and let it go and if you even can't do that that's okay until you can
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but if you can't forgive somebody I don't want you to feel bad about it because
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sometimes it's too hard for us on this earth and it's not a test on whether or not to forgive
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somebody and so I just don't want you walking around constantly feeling bad because because
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that's what's going to get you right that's why they that's why they teach forgiveness is because
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when you don't forgive it eats at you when you don't forgive it eats at you all the time and you
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feel like you're a bad person or if you as long as you are not I think of forgiveness as like a
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little bottle of poison and it's okay if you set the poison on the counter and you say okay I'm
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done with that but if you don't forgive somebody and you're okay with that that's great but if you
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trying to make sense but I don't know if I'm giving but if you but not forgiving is taking that bottle
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of poison and drinking it and you constantly worrying about it you letting it control everything
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the situation the other person is all of the things you're letting it control you the key is
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is to process it and let it go and not let it control you anymore and not dwell on it anymore
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that's the key and so if you can do that then you're a good person because you are the point
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of being a good person is trying to figure out how to love yourself and not care what other people
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think being you authentically which means being the mad you all the emotions like in in and out
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the show in and out I think is that what it's called when all the emotions are in her head
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and she's got to love every single one of those emotions she's got to love the anxiety character
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she's got to love the envy character she's got to love the joy character the anger character
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the the by the the sad character the one the the anxiety character in fact we just
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spot an anxiety character so we could remind ourselves to love who you are with all those
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characters in your head so I want you to kind of think that you are this body just kind of
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like the show in and out on Disney I think that that's what it's called in and out is it anyways
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well she has all the emotions in her head I want you to start thinking of yourself like that I
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want you to start kind of naming those emotions and understanding those emotions and picturing
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those emotions as controlling you or controlling your head and you are a beautiful person and
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you're a kind person and those emotions come in and out and you've got to love them as you
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you've got to love the anger one as you you've got to love the anxiety one as you you can't be mad
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at that one all the time you can't be mad at anxiety all the time because she's constantly in your
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brain you've got to love her as who she is which really means you're loving who you are you can
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try and fix those things and you can try and process and get on top of those things but you've
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got to love that self you've got to love yourself regardless you've got to love yourself of whatever
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whatever character is in in control you've got to love yourself and know that everybody has them
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even even super confident people even people that think they that look like they know they have
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their life together and everything is great they've all had these experiences too they have been there
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they they've done it they just either hide it very well or they care less about what people think
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and that's okay because that's the main goal right care less about what people think and figure out
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what you love figure out what you want and what you truly want to do so what you believe in do you
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really believe in all the things that you were taught since you were five do you why do you
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believe those things because you were taught them or because you really sincerely at your core
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believe them so start to figure that thing those things out and that's why the carry connects card
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was to ask for help and so if you're having problems because I know right now life is hard
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for everybody I see it in my own family I see it in my readings it's um it's it's hard and we are
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we're rising to a new frequency which makes it super hard to get there because frequency raises
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aren't fun and I got a little pen that even said this weekend from a client that said easy peasy
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lemon squeezy and I love it because it reminds us all the time that spiritual growth is not easy
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peasy lemon squeezy it can be very difficult and very hard and it's hard to love yourself
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when you think you're a bad person when you think you did something wrong or you made a mistake
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because you measure yourself worth on that and and our culture and our society and our religion
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teaches you that you have to rise above you have to be Christ like you have to do what Christ would
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do Christ was perfect all those things and you know what if we were all perfect it would be easy
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peasy lemon squeezy but we're not and we're here to learn how to become or how to become like that
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but at the same time love who we are while we become that even Christ wasn't perfect you guys
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and I keep using Christ but I love the Buddha religion and all that stuff but even I mean
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everyone says he was but he got mad in the temple he got mad at people and he threw furniture around
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and he threw them he threw him and yelled at them and I don't think that he left feeling guilty about
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that I think he felt very there's a time in a season for everything right and sometimes when you
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and he processed those feelings and that's how he did it and so I just want you to remember that
00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:00,280
he loves us universe loves us god loves us our ancestors love us and it's okay if we're not
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:08,120
perfect they're just here to help us experience the feelings that we have the emotions that we have
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:14,200
the trials that we go through and the happy and the joy that we go through try to experience it
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:19,800
and being ourselves not trying to show up as somebody that we're not which is trying to be
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:25,160
nicer then we feel like we should be or trying to accommodate everybody but ourselves or please
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:31,480
everybody but ourselves or or do never say no because we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:37,720
or because that's what nice people do it's okay to say no it's okay to be you it's okay to have
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:44,920
feelings of not wanting to help somebody it's okay to have selfish feelings sometimes everybody
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:50,760
does it so I guess I'm just trying to tell you that you're okay we all just are trying to do our
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:56,520
best we all are trying to do our best I mean some of us aren't some of us aren't trying to do our
00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,360
best out there but to them they might be right and and some people do like to harm other people
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:06,360
physically and emotionally on purpose and that's not a good place to be either because that always
00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:12,600
doesn't work out for you because somewhere it's got to eat at your core to do that um
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:18,280
I just want you to know that it's so normal to be so hard on yourself it's so normal to
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:27,320
measure your self-worth on things that aren't really relevant like your job or how much money you
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:32,680
have that's not what your self-worth is measured on not even how good of a mother you are even
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:38,120
though being a mother is a super important job it's not I mean your self-worth isn't measured on
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:44,920
that and I did measure that myself worth on that for so so long and your self-worth is measured on
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:52,680
your integrity and your belief system and how you honor who you are and so I just kind of want
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:58,760
to leave that with you this week stop being so hard on yourself be kind to yourself and know
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:03,880
that you don't have to be perfect and you don't have to be I mean you're you're so we're so busy
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:09,240
being kind to other people that we forget to be kind to ourselves and to be a spiritual person
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:14,520
to be a good person doesn't always necessarily mean you have to be nice and it doesn't always
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:19,720
missus necessarily mean you have to be a people pleaser it means you have to put yourself first
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:25,720
sometimes and love yourself and know that you are we are all connected we are all divinely
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:31,960
guided so when you do put yourself first and you are kind to yourself in essence you're being kind
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:37,080
to everybody else because you're taking care of you so you can't take care of everybody else
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:42,280
so I just want to remember that and remember that I love you and I know this is so hard sometimes
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:47,640
but I just don't want you to beat yourself up and try and be so perfect and try and do all the
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:52,440
things and meditate and if you did all the things that they taught you to be spiritually
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,920
lifted or spiritually it'd be it'd be crazy it'd be so crazy and and you have to you know for
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:04,760
such a long time I held myself to such a high standard and I held my readings to and I still do
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:10,840
such a high standard but I was so hard on myself if I got one little tidbit of information wrong I
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:16,840
would I would be so hard on myself and I would constantly constantly worry about it even if I
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:23,240
got like a hundred details right and I got one wrong I would constantly focus on the one I got
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:27,240
wrong and so it takes a lot to let that go and it takes a lot to move on and move forward and it
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:34,920
takes a lot to love yourself even when you're angry and it was so crazy because this weekend was
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:39,640
the weekend I was like it's okay if I don't like somebody it's not everybody likes me so it's okay
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:45,080
if I don't like somebody and it doesn't measure myself worth and it's okay if I feel this way and
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:49,080
I don't have to be their best friend even if they haven't treated me wrong I remember during my
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:54,200
divorce my aunt who was I just always thought that I either had to had to have a good reason I had to
00:23:54,200 --> 00:24:00,920
catch him in the act or I had I had to have a good reason to leave because that's what I was taught
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:05,160
I was taught that I had to save the marriage unless I had a good reason to leave I had to have a
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,360
reason and so I was constantly looking for the reason I was constantly looking well actually
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:13,160
there was some cheating going on and I was constantly looking for that because I was constantly
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,240
trying to I had to have that to have proof so I could leave and one day my aunt sat me down and
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:23,000
she said you don't have to have all that you're miserable in what you're in right now you're
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:29,080
miserable right now that is enough for you to walk away from this you don't have to find the evidence
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:34,440
you don't have to find the truth or you don't have to catch him in the act you can leave right now
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:40,520
based on how you feel based on how you feel but I had been so so blinded by my religion and my
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:49,320
background that every I had to work the best I could to get this to to work and I did do that
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:55,240
but I also had to find proof or I had to make sure it was true because it was his word against mine
00:24:55,240 --> 00:25:03,560
and finally I just realized I don't have to I can leave because this has been two years of hell
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:09,960
and that's good enough that's good enough for me so put yourself first you guys don't don't I was
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:19,320
just so worried about what everybody else would think that I wasn't a good mom that I didn't try
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,040
and save my marriage and I didn't try and do all these things and it doesn't make me a good person
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,760
because I left him because I thought he was doing this I could never prove it but you know what
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:32,440
I finally left because I trusted my intuition I trusted me I did me I didn't have to have the proof
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:38,440
and I got out and it wasn't easy peasy lemon squeezy but about two or three years later everything
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:44,920
that I wanted everything that that I wanted all the stuff all of the my intuition was telling me
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:51,400
at the time was validated and it was true and so trust those thoughts trust yourself trust you
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:59,480
you don't need evidence you don't need validation you don't need all the things as long as you're
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:06,120
not physically harming somebody you can do whatever the hell you want you can block that person you
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:12,120
can ghost that person you can do whatever you want if that's what's it's what's making you say if
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:17,640
that's what saves your sanity or saves your health right because if your gut is telling you one thing
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:22,920
and it and you think okay but if I follow that instinct it's not going to make me a nice person
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:27,240
because I'm not going to be that doormat then it's okay because honestly at the end of the day
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:32,040
it's your it's you that matter your authenticity your being true to you and by by ghosting that
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:39,000
person or blocking that person or or or clearing that person from your life is you being true to
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:43,560
you you listening to you you putting yourself first and that is 100% okay to do so that was my soap
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:51,640
box I guess wasn't it it's because I want so badly to for you to learn this lesson and I'll be so
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:57,880
hard on yourself and not measure your self-worth on what we've been taught to measure our self-worth
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:02,760
on which is our jobs and our careers and how we treat other people and how we I mean treating
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:09,960
other people is it can be somewhat of an indication but not to the point where you let yourself get
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:14,920
treated poorly um your self-worth is based on you and your spirit and your integrity and your love
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:21,480
and your compassion and you can have those and still not be a doormat and not have to be a
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:27,960
completely nice person to put your own feelings aside so I love you guys so much and I know I
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:34,600
wouldn't be here without you and I love everything I love I love all the support you guys you guys
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:39,640
are coming to my events and um and they've been awesome so there are more events posting today on
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:46,440
my email so if you haven't got my email letter there is some more events coming up for May and
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:52,360
June and the first to know about it are in my email letter so if you need my email you can go to
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:57,640
carrymugs.com and sign up for my my newsletters every week that tells you what events are coming
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:03,640
and they're pretty awesome so so there you go and I think that is it I think that's I do have
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:11,640
retreat I am going to do a retreat this year oh but however there have been some family
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:16,760
stuff coming up with one of the kids and we're going to kind of see where the Anna wedding
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:21,240
coming up all in the fall so we're going to kind of see how that navigates and I'll see when we
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:25,320
have time for that retreat so I love you guys so much I really do I love you and I mean it and
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:31,560
I just wish I could hug you right now and I just want you to remember you have everything you need
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:38,120
inside of you already and I will talk to you guys next week
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,840
